we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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