The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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