hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. Iām in.
Randomize
