yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
