Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
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I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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