Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
