i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
