omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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