If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
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It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
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I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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