Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
