people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
only if we run a train.
done.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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