morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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