Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
