oh god the rape fog is back!
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
