Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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