just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
