Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
