I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
