just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
