i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
