So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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