im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize