Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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