Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
