I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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