He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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