I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
