yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
