yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
