I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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