So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
