I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my sisters under your porch take her home
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
