Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
