am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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