you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
