and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
