scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
