So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
