Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
