is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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