i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
