You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
