im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
