A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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