yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Randomize
