oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Someone signed my nipple.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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