Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize