Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
