Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
