after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
