My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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