im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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