Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
