They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
