She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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