Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
