I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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