I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
