so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
