Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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