Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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